belated happenings (lazy post) 2008/07/24

i haven’t been doing a very good job of keeping this blog going. alas, some other things have taken over my life/mind. rest assured, henri is still growing and changing and being remarkable every single day. while he isn’t yet crawling, here are some things he enjoys:

• gritting his teeth together. yes, he only has 3 teeth. but that doesn’t seem to stop him from constantly gritting them.  i wonder if he’s just like, hey–what are these things in my mouth? or, if he actually does it to relieve pain or something.  either way, it is superbly annoying/slightly painful to listen to.
• climbing.  not being able to crawl doesn’t stop him from grabbing on to whatever’s closest to him (fabrics work best) and pulling himself across your body, the floor, the bed, etc.
• falling off the bed. how many times does this have to happen before he realizes it hurts? oh wait, am i supposed to keep this from happening??? oops.  i guess fear is a learned thing, b/c henri certainly doesn’t have any.  combine that with his constant need to be going, doing, moving, etc. and you have what we call a “thrillseeker.”
• singing.  henri has this little walker that has a musical feature and we just noticed the other night that when you put him in the walker, he’ll hit the button to make the music play and immediately start crooning right along.  when the music stops, he stops.  also, the other day, he sang along to bob marley.  i always knew i’d have a reggae kid.
• walking. well, in his walker, that is.  actually, he more scoots around in circles using only one foot.  unless he gets stuck, then he can use both legs to back up.
• drumming on anything.  we got him an actual drum, but he really didn’t need it.  tabletops work just fine.  i firmly believe his penchant for drumming is due to mcknight’s constant drumming on my pregnant belly during henri’s last month in utero.
• giving love bites.  i’m not sure if he’s kissing us, biting us, or just experiencing us through his salivary glands like he experiences everything else that is a part of his world, but henri loves to grab on to you and plant a big wet one right on your shoulder.  regardless of intention, it makes me feel loved.

well, i could go on, but that should update you for now.  basically, henri enjoys pretty much anything that doesn’t involve sleep.  that, he avoids like a plague.  in fact, he has decided sleep actually isn’t a necessity after all.

we’re legal! 2008/07/21

life is good, but i am not 2008/07/08

for a long time, i have been against psychiatric medication. but i’m wondering if this is yet another thing that is going to have to change now that i’m a mom. at what point can i stop “changing” and just make henri accept me for who i am? (i don’t mean for that to sound like i’m blaming henri. what i really want is for henri to have the *best*mom in the world, which i am not, but maybe could be with the help of some strong meds. i secondly want for him to know that life is not perfect, sadness is not bad and sometimes (sometimes!!!) it’s OKAY to cry. this is the point where my therapist would probably say something about balance, or being balanced. harumph.

the myth of equality 2008/07/03

the thing about co-parenting is that you’re never really equals. in fact, i don’t think there is such a thing as being equal. i mean, mark cares way more about buying fresh food and cooking great meals than i ever will, or even have the ability to, and that’s because it’s ingrained in him, much the same way sustaining motherhood is for me. women’s bodies are made to bear children; therefore, we also carry the strength to keep going, whether we are in our 48th hour of labor, our 3rd hour of rocking a teething child, or our 28th year of making sure our children are safe and sound. it’s not that the non-child-bearing partner doesn’t want to be an equal part; they can’t be. they aren’t made for it. maybe they’re made to support us as best they can. or maybe they’re made to annoy the hell out of us by always providing that “other” viewpoint. or maybe they’re just made to hold the crying baby when we have to pee like hell. regardless, they are not us.

i’m trying hard not to see this as a male vs. female thing, even though that’s the situation i’m in. just as i don’t think it has to do with the child’s biological history. i’m just saying that there are 2 people in each relationship, and one always has more “power.” what i’m figuring out is that co-parenting is less about finding equality than it is about forgiving inequality.

how’s that for a non-feminist point of view?