the thing about co-parenting is that you’re never really equals. in fact, i don’t think there is such a thing as being equal. i mean, mark cares way more about buying fresh food and cooking great meals than i ever will, or even have the ability to, and that’s because it’s ingrained in him, much the same way sustaining motherhood is for me. women’s bodies are made to bear children; therefore, we also carry the strength to keep going, whether we are in our 48th hour of labor, our 3rd hour of rocking a teething child, or our 28th year of making sure our children are safe and sound. it’s not that the non-child-bearing partner doesn’t want to be an equal part; they can’t be. they aren’t made for it. maybe they’re made to support us as best they can. or maybe they’re made to annoy the hell out of us by always providing that “other” viewpoint. or maybe they’re just made to hold the crying baby when we have to pee like hell. regardless, they are not us.
i’m trying hard not to see this as a male vs. female thing, even though that’s the situation i’m in. just as i don’t think it has to do with the child’s biological history. i’m just saying that there are 2 people in each relationship, and one always has more “power.” what i’m figuring out is that co-parenting is less about finding equality than it is about forgiving inequality.
how’s that for a non-feminist point of view?