Parenting Henri

this is about henri, and the parenting thereof

War: Declared. 2010/01/31

One thing I love about the Age of Being Two that we are now in (and by love, I obviously mean Loathe) is how whenever we want Henri to do something like eat or dispose of the detritus that was formerly a completely hygienic diaper, he’s “playing” in his room–independently, henri-like, as all good only children do for many hours of the day.  BUT, when we *want* him to play in his room, or anywhere in the house for that matter, by himself so that we can–oh, I don’t know… pee or type a hasty email or (God forbid) open a piece of mail or talk on the phone for more than 1 min. 59 sec., he instantly loses the ability to entertain himself.   It’s also at these rare, preciousest of moments that he takes on the responsibility of recording our daily activities for future generations of only children who may or may not understand these Beings who ignore them for the better part of each minute…

H: Mom-mom wanna read a book.

M: (peeing) mmm.hmmm.

H: Mom-mom wanna go POOPY in the POTTY!!!

M:  No, mom mom’s just peeing.

H: Henri wanna go poopy in the potty!

M: No, mom mom’s Peeing. Right. Now.

…roughly 15 seconds later…

H: Mom-mom wanna call someone.

M: (dialing) mmmm.hmmm.

H: Henri wanna call someone!

M: No, mom-mom’s using the phone right now. Go play with your toys.

H: (grabs phone, runs around house several times)

M: (cries)

H: (gives phone back) Hug.  (hugs mom-mom)

H: Mom-mom wanna call someone…  (proceeds to stare at mom-mom until she makes the Wise Decision *not* to call anyone right now, though maybe calling her therapist would be even wiser.)

…15 minutes later…

M: (from kitchen) Heeeen-riiiii. Come & eat luuuu-uuunch!!!

H: (from bedroom) My playing!

M: But, don’t you want to sit right in front of me and monopolize my time while I try to do things that don’t revolve around you and only you?

>Just kidding…I don’t say that.<

M: But, aren’t you hungry?

H: No.  My wanna P L A Y.  (plays.  alone.  in his room.  without anyone else around.)

Obviously, this is War.  Only time will tell the outcome.  Either that, or we’ll make it to the Age of Being Three.


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