I have several guy friends/a brother who are, likely (although they haven’t said so to my face), quite surprised that anyone would, more or less voluntarily, take on the job/duty/life-long-commitment of fatherhood. And I was right there with them when I was 29-years+364-days-old. That’s somewhat tongue-in-cheek – it didn’t exactly correspond, to the moment, with my thirtieth birthday – however, it was around that time that I began to think that fatherhood might be A-ok. Actually, it really hit me around the time that I became romantically involved with a woman who happened to be T-minus-two-or-so-months from motherhood.
OK, listen up, here’s the secret:
*… fatherhood isn’t really all that bad…*
- Henri’s cute.
- He’s really very reasonable… for an infant.*
- He stays where you put him (not for long I fear).
- He’s easily heft-able; portable (see above).
- He’s really darn cute.
Subtract a couple of those attributes and I may have a completely different opinion. (Given the self-expiring nature of attributes three and four on the above list, check back with me in a month or two, okay?)
Really, what have I given up? A solid block of 7-8 (or 9, or 10) hours of sleep? Sure, but I’ve given that up voluntarily for weeks at a time. Sleeping in on the weekends is harder but it turns out that you really do get a lot more done when you get out of bed before noon. Henri requires a lot of attention but also likes spending a lot of time on his back admiring his feet. While he’s doing this I can do “productive” things such as lie on my back and admire the insides of my eyelids… or, more likely, watch Top Chef.
And an added benefit of having a kid when you’re 30ish is they’ll be out of the house by the time you’re 50ish when you’re young enough to enjoy the fact that the kid has finally-left-the-g-d-nest!!
*I mean, sure, he’ll take a deep breath and TELL YOU when something is bothering him (i.e. it’s been 2 hours and thirty-ONE minutes since he last ate and that’s really longer than ANY REASONABLE BABY COULD BE EXPECTED TO WAIT, DAMMIT!! AAAAAA-GHE-HE-HE-HE!!!) but, once you give him what he wants, everything is copasetic.