As I was routinely changing Henri’s diaper tonight before beginning the bedtime routine, I thought to myself: How could I ever not love someone whose ass crack I’ve seen a million times?
Strange, but true.
we’ve reached a new low 2009/08/24
houston: we have a problem. henri is watching sesame street.
uh-oh.
i’m officially the worst parent in the world. i mean, i’m not even watching it *with* him. well, i’m in the same room. but {obviously} not interacting with him…since i’m blogging…about him.
there are several reasons why i’ve allowed this to happen:
- For some reason, PBS doesn’t play Curious George 24 hours a day. I still can’t figure out why not. And they haven’t returned my emails or phone calls.
- There is a DVD stuck in our player and–as {bum} luck would have it–it’s not Curious George. Damn Technology!
- You can actually learn things on this show. For instance, I just learned how to say white in Spanish. Also, there are a lot of words having to do with laundry that begin with the letter L (lessons: irony, linguistics, metatexts).
- Sesame Street is so gay-friendly.
- I get a perverse pleasure out of turning Sesame Street on, because I once had a “teacher” tell us that Sesame Street encourages ADHD in kids, because of its short segments. Since this is also the same woman who told us that you could get germs (e.g. AIDS) from sitting on public potties, I never really bought into her whole Sesame Street philosophy.
ah, childhood! the time of innocence!
oops, it’s over. gotta go rescue my son from tv-land. coming soon: a blog about how we’re encouraging henri to read in bed under dim wattage so that he will need glasses like us. READING IS COOL.
henri’s first “blow” 2009/07/18
henri can now blow. this is useful in A)dinner settings (he can blow his own food, thus making our lazy parenting so much lazier) and B) musical settings. he’s a wicked cool harmonica player, yo. watch out k-frayz; someone’s going to take your place in the band…
let’s hope he doesn’t experience any other kind of blow for a very long time! like never! or at least until i’m dead.
bring on the hair dye 2009/02/11
i spotted a blonde streak in henri’s hair today. he was outside, playing in the sun, so it might’ve been an optical illusion. but, to be safe, we should stock up on red hair dye. i’m only half-joking when i say this. actually, i’m not joking at all. since my hair only stayed red until i was four years old, maybe i should be expecting henri’s hair to change colors. but i was so ecstatic to see him come out with [a wee bit of] red hair, and then to see it stay red while growing in…
life will once and for all “not be fair” if henri’s hair turns blonde. aren’t there enough heartbreakers in the world??? who’s going to give all the kindergarten teachers a hard time if redheads are weeded out of society? we need another youuuuuuuuk!
nobody’s perfect (not even me) 2008/11/17
as a mom, i plan on:
- losing my temper sometimes
- saying things i regret
- expecting henri to behave when i ask him to
(after all, i’m only human)
gee…i hope this okay with my son… otherwise, he might disown me!
in case you weren’t sure he’s mine… 2008/08/28
this afternoon, i put henri down for his afternoon nap (i knew he was tired b/c he almost fell asleep in the swing at the park) and he fussed for an hour or more–just because he didn’t want to go to sleep. why? we’ll never know…he’s just stubborn. my mom came home from work and i realized i couldn’t hear him crying, so i went to check on him and he was SITTING UP but ASLEEP. have you ever heard of a baby so stubborn he won’t even Lie Down??
geez. where does he get it from?
is this for real??? 2008/06/30
I just received this email:
Dear MomofHenri,
Thanks again for shopping at Toys”R”Us & Babies”R”Us. We’re pleased to tell you that your item(s) has been shipped!
If there are remaining items in your order that were not shipped at this time, you will receive a similar email notification when they ship. You can click on the link below to review the status of your entire order, including any items that may have been shipped separately.
Item: 4484966
Description: Simplicity Kingston 4-in-1 Crib – Chocolate/White
Quantity: 1
Status: Shipped via: FedEx Ground
YOU MEAN HENRI IS ACTUALLY GOING TO HAVE HIS OWN BED?????? I thought this dream would never come true!
anxiety? what anxiety??? 2008/05/09
no lie. this was my dream this morning:
after going out to a club with mvp and PK, i somehow got separated from them and started walking. i walked and walked and walked forever and ever, stopping to ask people where the T was and turning around, backtracking, etc. a horrendously long walk… eventually, i’m walking down a pier. i get to the end and all i see is water everywhere around me. endless miles of water. i’m so depressed. i can’t believe i walked all that way and now i have to turn around and walk back! then, all of the sudden, i’m in the water…i think someone floated by and gave me a raft, because i wasn’t sinking and i wasn’t swimming/drowning. i was sitting in the water, this bright blue water with the sun shining down on me. i looked up at the immense landscape of water all around me and said to myself, “i’m going to miss mother’s day.”
seriously! that was my dream!
i don’t know…do you think i’m making too much of this, my first mother’s day???
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