we’ve reached a new low 2009/08/24

houston: we have a problem.  henri is watching sesame street.

uh-oh.

i’m officially the worst parent in the world.  i mean, i’m not even watching it *with* him.  well, i’m in the same room.  but {obviously} not interacting with him…since i’m blogging…about him.

there are several reasons why i’ve allowed this to happen:

• For some reason, PBS doesn’t play Curious George 24 hours a day.  I still can’t figure out why not.  And they haven’t returned my emails or phone calls.
• There is a DVD stuck in our player and–as {bum} luck would have it–it’s not Curious George.  Damn Technology!
• You can actually learn things on this show.  For instance, I just learned how to say white in Spanish.  Also, there are a lot of words having to do with laundry that begin with the letter L (lessons: irony, linguistics, metatexts).
• Sesame Street is so gay-friendly.
• I get a perverse pleasure out of turning Sesame Street on, because I once had a “teacher” tell us that Sesame Street encourages ADHD in kids, because of its short segments.  Since this is also the same woman who told us that you could get germs (e.g. AIDS) from sitting on public potties, I never really bought into her whole Sesame Street philosophy.

ah, childhood! the time of innocence!

oops, it’s over. gotta go rescue my son from tv-land.  coming soon: a blog about how we’re encouraging henri to read in bed under dim wattage so that he will need glasses like us.  READING IS COOL.

new york turned my son into a future-drinker 2009/08/03

you should click here to see the entire album of henri’s recent trip to saratoga springs.

henri’s first “blow” 2009/07/18

henri can now blow. this is useful in A)dinner settings (he can blow his own food, thus making our lazy parenting so much lazier) and B) musical settings. he’s a wicked cool harmonica player, yo. watch out k-frayz; someone’s going to take your place in the band…

let’s hope he doesn’t experience any other kind of blow for a very long time! like never! or at least until i’m dead.

this blog post is as threatening as i get 2008/06/10

thanks to the lovely, i mean lazy, people at fawn and forest, henri is now sleeping on the floor (well, on a mattress on the floor).  previously, i was very excited to order the “perfect” crib (the sahara crib in walnut).  i even sent out a little email to 1,000 of our closest friends with the new that henri was a big boy and i’d found the perfect crib, etc. etc.  guess how long ago that was???  that was so long ago i can’t even remember when it was…and i don’t feel like looking it up in my gmail.  cleary, i am in a BAD MOOD.  so, what’s a slacker mom to do?  i’ve sent several emails and the guy just keeps assuring me the crib will be sent as soon as possible.  i mean, do i actually have to Pick up the Phone and Call These People?  ugh.  that entirely defeats the purpose of ordering something ONLINE.  i’m thinking: order the crib somewhere else. see which one gets here first.  return the one that gets here second. i didn’t pay for shipping the first time around (boy, did i learn THAT lesson) from fawn & forest, so i’d only have to pay shipping to return it.  this all sounds very complicated and kinda of expensive, but it means i wouldn’t have to TALK TO or THREATEN anyone.  which is good.  i’d rather talk bad about them behind their back for the rest of henri’s life!!!!!! yes, that is lazy.  but its also non-confrontational.  is this like some lesson i’m supposed to be learning and then passing along to my son? because if it is, i refuse to learn it.  so, just SEND ME THE CRIB ALREADY.

in which mommy reasons as to why her son didn’t sleep the night before 2008/05/01

i wonder if there is some inherent truth to that old saying about not going to bed angry with your partner. i mean, where henri is concerned. because he didn’t sleep that well last night. (is this the travesty of him sleeping in our room that i’ve been [nervously] waiting for?)

i’ve come up with some other possible reasons for his lack of sleep, so as not to make myself feel bad:

• it’s freezing in our room at night. in fact, i think our room is the coldest of all of the rooms. i don’t know why this is but my 2 possible explanations are: someone who lived in the house before us shut the vent in our room off, or the gods do not want me to be warm at night, ever, even though i constantly pay good money to be that way!!!
• during the first 3 hours of his [then peaceful] nighttime rest, i was moving furniture and boxes and i wasn’t really being quiet about it. (ooops, this one incriminates me, too…)
• he IS getting 2 teeth (maybe more?) after all
• there’s only so much nighttime sleep a baby can take before he starts losing credo on the baby-internet community forums he’s a part of
• dare i say, he’s ready for his own room and will most likely not wake up as much once he is in there???
• the poor thing (note the omission of “little” in that oft used phrase) is just about to fall out of his cradle–and by “out of,” i mean over the side. when will that damn crib be here anyway???
• his pajamas were too small–and, they really are, if only because he continues to grow at the speed of light
• he didn’t have socks on. he does usually take these off at some point in the night, but–still–he starts out with them on, so this definitely constitutes as a change in routine and is not a lame, last reason because i didn’t want to end the list with how i need to buy him pajamas that fit

at least i didn’t drop him! 2008/03/07