As I was routinely changing Henri’s diaper tonight before beginning the bedtime routine, I thought to myself: How could I ever not love someone whose ass crack I’ve seen a million times?
Strange, but true.
To Do (with Henri): Read “Important” Books 2009/10/19
I always wanted to read that list of the 100 most important books for a high school student, but never did. Thus, I will live vicariously through Henri (in this, and in other ways, I’m sure…) by starting on the following list of the “Teacher’s Top 100.” Actually, we’ve *already* started on it, unbeknownst to me or my future little reader (see notations below). We’re just that cool…
p.s. If you’re thinking about Henri’s upcoming birthday, this list might be of help to you!!!
Teacher’s Top 100 Books for Children
The following list was compiled from an online survey in 2007. Parents and teachers will find it useful in selecting quality literature for children.
- Charlotte’s Web by E.B. White
- Where the Wild Things Are by Maurice Sendak
- The Giving Tree by Shel Silverstein
- Green Eggs and Ham by Dr. Seuss (own, but haven’t read yet)
- Good Night Moon by Margaret Wise Brown (Check)
- I Love You Forever by Robert N. Munsch
- Because of Winn Dixie by Kate DiCamillo
- Oh! The Places You Will Go by Dr. Seuss (own?)
- The Little House by Virginia Lee Burton
- The Polar Express by Chris Van Allsburg
- Skippyjon Jones by Judy Schachner
- Thank You Mr. Falker by Patricia Polacco
- The Cat In The Hat by Dr. Seuss (own?)
- The Lorax by Dr. Seuss
- The Miraculous Journey of Edward Tulane by Kate DiCamillo
- The Mitten by Jan Brett
- Crunching Carrots, Not Candy by Judy Slack
- Don’t Let the Pigeon Drive the Bus by Mo Willlems (honestly, i’m not a big fan of this book; but we will read it just to check it off the list)
- Harry Potter Series by J.K. Rowling (NOT NO, BUT HELL NO. if henri ever wants to read this, he can do it on his own! i refuse!!!)
- A Wrinkle in Time by Madeleine L’Engle
- Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good Very Bad Day by Judith Viorst
- Are You My Mother? by P.D. Eastman (Check, thanks to Olga!)
- Corduroy by Don Freeman
- Lilly’s Purple Plastic Purse by Kevin Henkes
- Stellaluna by Janell Cannon
- Tacky the Penquin by Helen Lester
- The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe by C.S. Lewis
- The Velveteen Rabbit by Margery Williams
- Chicka Chicka Boom Boom by Bill Martin Jr.
- Click Clack Moo: Cows That Type by Doreen Cronin
- Harold and the Purple Crayon by Crockett Johnson
- Horton Hatches the Egg by Dr. Seuss
- Junie B. Jones by Barbara Park
- Little House in the Big Woods by Laura Ingalls Wilder
- Make Way For Ducklings by Robert McCloskey
- The Phantom Tollbooth by Norton Juster
- Piggie Pie by Margie Palatini
- The Little Engine That Could by Watty Piper (Check)
- The Monster at the End of this Book by Jon Stone
- The Tale of Despereaux by Kate DiCamillo (own, but not yet age-appropriate)
- A Bad Case of Stripes by David Shannon
- Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs by Judi Barrett
- From the Mixed Up Files of Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler by E.L. Konigsburg
- Inkheart by Cornelia Funke
- Maniac Magee by Jerry Spinelli
- Officer Buckle and Gloria by Peggy Rathmann
- Olivia by Ian Falconer
- The BFG by Roald Dahl
- The Kissing Hand by Audrey Penn
- The Secret Garden by Frances Hodgson Burnett (own, but not yet age-appropriate)
- The Sneetches by Dr. Seuss
- The Very Hungry Caterpillar by Eric Carle (check?)
- Tikki Tikki Tembo by Arlene Mosel
- A Little Princess by Frances Hodgson Burnett (own, but not yet age-appropriate)
- Bark, George by Jules Feiffer
- Bunnicula by James Howe
- Charlie and the Chocolate Factory by Roald Dahl (own, but not yet age-appropriate)
- Charlie the Caterpillar by Dom DeLuise
- Chrysanthemum by Kevin Henkes
- Dear Mr. Henshaw by Beverly Cleary
- Frederick by Leo Lionni
- Frindle by Andrew Clements
- Frog and Toad by Arnold Lobel
- Guess How Much I Love You by Sam McBratney (check)
- Harris and Me by Gary Paulsen
- Harry the Dirty Dog by Gene Zion
- Hop on Pop by Dr. Seuss
- How the Grinch Stole Christmas by Dr. Seuss
- I Love You, Stinky Face by Lisa McCourt
- Is Your Mama A Llama? by Deborah Guarino
- Jan Brett’s books
- Knots on a Counting Rope by Bill Martin Jr.
- Little Women by Louisa May Alcott (own, but not yet age-appropriate)
- Mike Mulligan and His Steam Shovel by Virginia Lee Burton
- Miss Rumphius by Barbara Cooney
- My Father’s Dragon by Ruth Stiles Gannett
- My Many Colored Days by Dr. Seuss (check, thanks to K-Frayz!)
- My Side of the Mountain by Jean Craighead George
- No David! by David Shannon (check)
- One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish by Dr. Seuss (own, but i don’t think he’s read it yet?)
- Where the Sidewalk Ends by Shel Silverstein
- Stephanie’s Ponytail by Robert Munsch
- Swimmy by Leo Lionni
- The Hundred Dresses by Eleanor Estes
- The Boxcar Children by Gertrude Warner
- The Dark Is Rising by Susan Cooper
- The Empty Pot by Demi
- The Five Chinese Brothers by Claire Huchet Bishop
- The Giver by Lois Lowr
- The Grouchy Ladybug by Eric Carle
- The Hobbit by J.R.R. Tolkien (something tells me we own this…)
- The Important Book by Margaret Wise Brown
- The Last Holiday Concert by Andrew Clements
- The Napping House by Audrey Wood
- The Quiltmaker’s Gift by Jeff Brumbeau
- The Snowy Day by Ezra Jack Keats
- The Story About Ping by Marjorie Flack
- The True Story of the Three Little Pigs by Jon Scieszka
- Tuck Everlasting by Natalie Babbitt
- The Wide-Mouthed Frog: A Pop-Up Book by Keith Faulkner
Once we get done with these, the NEA also has a list of 50 Multicultural Books and 50 State Booklist. Oh man… I’m glad Henri likes to read!
born into it 2009/10/18
it’s official (as if it wasn’t already…): henri truly is my mini-me.
we went shoe shopping, which was (more) stressful (then it had to be) because i suggested henri “try out” each pair of shoes he tried on–ended up being like 12 or so–and he took that to mean he could run away from us in each pair of shoes he tried on. whoop-ee!
he ended up getting, yes–you guessed it–Pink Tennis Shoes. now, either this is God’s way of reaffirming my decision to have a kid in the first place, OR, more likely, henri doesn’t yet realize that pink is for “little ladies,” as this website so kindly points out, and just really really really really REALLY loves his mom-mom who really really really REALLY loves pink, therefore…well, you get the argument i’m making. right?
Kicks
now, i know what you’re thinking: that i Encouraged him to get pink tennis shoes. and i swear on the tattoo on my left wrist that i did no such thing. however, i certainly showed them to him, kind of as a joke.* the first pair of pink tennis shoes i showed him were not anywhere near as gender-neutral and he liked them but absolutely did not say he wanted to buy them like he did the converse ones. (yes, he speaks in sentences and yes, gender-neutral is a term that applies to pink things, in my world). i also know the other thing you’re thinking, mainly because i thought it, too, by which i mean, i said it out loud: poor da-da. as with all other things me & the h-man throw at mcknight, though, he took it just fine. sure, he rolled his eyes. but if any father can handle his 2-year-old running around in pink kicks, it’s this one.
to answer your other questions: yes, henri has been called a girl several times since this shoe-buying incident. i have no words. (he doesn’t even LOOK feminine!!!). and yes, henri and mom-mom have had several well-meaning “older” women–at least 4-year-olds, if not older–explain to us that “pink” is for “girls.” REALLY? i had no idea. it’s not like i’ve never passed Victoria’s Secret or The Limited Too. it’s not like i’ve tried to buy clothes for my son that aren’t blue. it’s not like i started wearing pink the day my niece was born 9 years ago and haven’t stopped since. i *know* pink is for girls, you little bitches/future sarah palin supporters!!! but, guess what? pink is also the color of Power. in this case, the willpower not to introduce you to the powerful feeling of putting someone much smaller and much less experienced than you are in their rightful place: namely, on the ground.
but i digress. the moral of the story is that the first pair of tennis shoes henri picked out himself is pink. we tried on adidas. we ran around the store in new balance. we knocked over shoe salesman in elmo-light-up-blinky-blinky high traction/low impact etc.-etc. shoes. i even forced his foot into a black & flame version of the very same shoe he ended up buying. but, none of them got the elicited reaction, which went something like this.
mom-mom: (after picking up pink converse shoes that she in no way thought would ever be liked, let alone bought, by her son, who is a boy and not a “little lady”) these are AWESOME. don’t you LOVE them?????
da-da: rolls eyes.
henri: uh-huh.
mom-mom: (puts them on henri’s foot, despite his squirming and losing interest upon realizing they’re *very* hard shoes to put on) WOW. i LOVE them. don’t you LOVE them, buddy???
da-da: rolls eyes, begins to walk away.
henri: uh-huh.
mom-mom: are THESE the ones you want to BUY?????
henri: (after a very long hour to hour-and-a-half of trying on shoes, running around the store, and begging to ride in a tractor) Uh-Huh!
mom-mom: (says privately to da-da) wow–i can’t believe he wants pink shoes. that’s so cute. don’t you think that’s so cute? i didn’t force him into them. you saw it. he wanted them. he said he liked them. right?
da-da: um…
*
*the reader will note that henri has been trying on my pink high-heeled shoes and prancing around the house in them, quite capably, for a few months now
even my ethical dilemmas have changed/are changing 2009/10/04
this past friday, the guest speaker in my ethics seminar asked the students to write down 3 ethical dilemmas in modern medicine and/or science that they might want to research. to keep myself awake (hey–being a student is {still} boring!), i decided to write down a few of my own. you never know: i might research something one day.
the important thing to know is that (according to the speaker) an ethical dilemma is one in which there are at least two sides to the issue, if not more.
of course, the first to come to mind was circumcision of newborn boys. when living through this dilemma, i felt that the decision *not* to circumcise was almost a cop-out–a non-decision, if you will. however, after thinking for just a few minutes about it in the fabulousness of ethics, i realized that i faced an ethical dilemma and made a decision, based on my ethical values. maybe that seems like a no-brainer to you. but it made me proud! who know i even had values?
the second thing i thought of, which i truly would like to research, or at least would like for someone else to research because i think it’s absolutely needs to be addressed by A) the medical community and B) the world at large, was the question of a drug-free childbirth. the question being, is it even possible in this day and age? i know it isn’t in massachusetts, at least not for women who go over 2 weeks from their “estimated” due date. and i certainly know it wasn’t a choice for me. at the time, it didn’t seem like so much of a dilemma as a “give me drugs or give me death” sort of moment. and i’m still very upset at all of the factors that went into that non-decision: including my own weakness, even if it was just a lack of preparation for what might’ve been coming. in order to actually research this dilemma, we would first have to acknowledge it as such. so, yeah, that could be a problem.
lastly, the 3rd dilemma i thought of is the one that every biological mother who chooses to raise her own child faces, whether she realizes it or not: to breastfeed or not to breastfeed? even those of us for whom it really wasn’t much of a dilemma–let’s face it, there was never even a miniscule moment in time when i might’ve considered letting a tiny alien suckle at my bosom–had to not only make a choice, but defend it, lest our ethics be looked down upon.
so there you have it: i’m not just a mom. i’m a freaking mom who can’t stop being a mom, even when considering {hypothetical} ethical dilemmas with potential in an academic mom-free environment. *sigh* it seems the kid has finally infiltrated what was left of my mind…but hey, there’s something to be said for “going all in.” right?
the witching hour 2009/09/30
it’s true. the witching hour actually exists. today, henri was A-dorable from the time i got home around 2 or so, until around 5-ish, at which point he started “thrashing” himself on to the floor, Jack Black style, while simultaneously jumping in and out of his turned-upside-down (kid) armchair, until he hit his head on the corner of the coffee table. he started crying, but then realized it would be more comforting just to lie on the floor, face-down, and play dead.
OMG. i have never witnessed such a transformation. sure, he’s hungry, tired, bored…blah blah blah. i get it. so that means he goes insane? becomes a rock star? practically slices his left ear off? aren’t there easier ways to get attention…?
emo henri
call me crazy. but i’m a fan of words, and using them. how old does he have to be before he can understand the phrase, “MOM. PAY ATTENTION TO ME. NOW.” the kid knows what a compost is. he’s recognizes about ten letters and the numbers 4 and 2. i think he can learn to say “yo, i need some lovin’ biyatches.”
wait. is this some sort of genetic malfunctioning i’ve passed down? the inability to ask for help (or anything else) when you need it…? uh-oh. get the baby meds. let’s stop this “nervous breakdown” before it happens…
hiding in the fort 2009/09/13
i have been thinking a lot lately about if i’m A) not as good of a mom as henri needs, B) a good mom but not as good of a mom as i wish i could be, or C) just a really lame mom. the scary thing is that i’m not sure much, if any, of this (really) has to do with my “depression.” i think that maybe there are just things about being a mom that i’m not good at: like playing trucks & cars for 8 hours straight, or playing anything for 8 hours straight. i’m not a big “play” person. but i want to be, if that’s what henri needs me to be. where’s the balance supposed to be in that conundrum?
admittedly, there are things i’m super-good at when it comes to momming the h-man that previous skeptics (and by skeptics, i mean me) are probably really surprised about. like how i’m pretty damn compassionate. even though it’s funny as hell when henri falls down–hard to explain, he just gets hurt in funny/odd ways–i’m still really good at “kissing his boo-boo” and making sure he’s alright, prior to my laughing at with him. well, that’s all i can think of right now. but i know there are other ways in which i’m better than i thought i would be that i *can’t* think of right now, mainly because i’m Hiding. In a Fort. in more ways than one.
what i’m trying to say is: i have fun with henri. i’ve had loads of fun with henri. there are lots of zaftig memories in my mind. we have fun together. but… i still have mommy-guilt. i confess–to no one’s surprise, i’m sure: i don’t know where the grey is. i’m willing to bet that i couldn’t find the grey if it came up and tapped me on the shoulder and said, “hey there, i’m the grey part of being a mom.”
i’ve been told i have high expectations. so, is that what this is? i’ve also been told that i deliberately put high expectations on people so that they will fail me and i can wallow in the disappointment that brings. i guess, if that’s the case–which i’m not totally convinced of–then i could put the same amount of unrealistically high expectations on myself, fail, and be happy that the world is still round and i’m still a failure. but that seems highly unlikely. what kind of fucked up person would do that?
it’s never too early to start planning a party 2009/09/01
as if i don’t have enough things to do, i’ve been staying up late at night planning what will, i hope, be the 3rd best party ever. (wait–4th, if you count my 30th b-day bar crawl. and i {kind of} do.) first, there was the greatest baby shower of all (!) and, then, the 1st birthday party of all 1st birthday parties (theme? Henri!) and, now, there will be an alphabetilicious party, better than your most committed abecederian could plan.
okay. having looked that up. that word does NOT mean what i thought it meant. and it definitely doesn’t mean what most people today think it means, otherwise i never would’ve heard of it.
yes, that’s right. your ears are not fooling you. this year’s theme will be (of course!): The Alphabet.
you're invited!
believe it or not, this isn’t actually a radical idea for a toddler’s birthday party. i’ve already found cake designs, meal plans, pre-school appropriate activities, AND about a billion color sheets. um, no. we will *not* be coloring. this isn’t pre-school, goddamnit. it’s a friggin’ party, for God’s sake!!!
so, get your game on. practice your cursive letters. and make sure you know which smalls go with which bigs. because in less than 3 months, a showcase of the world’s smartest 2-year-old’s alphabet knowledge will be on display. join us. if you dare.
p.s. i {additionally} challenge you to bring an alphabet-inspired, if not outright intellectually stimulating, gift. handmade is A-Okay.
Feeling Nostalgic for Vacation 2009/08/27
henri's first "truck" coaster
carrrrrrrrrrrrrrs
he's a natural
karma 2009/08/27
so…a couple of weeks ago, henri poured a gigantic pitcher of water on my laptop, and i admit: i got pretty angry with him. in my defense, 1) it wasn’t an accident and 2) it wasn’t an accident.
but today, i spilled a (mostly-empty) glass of water on (only a small portion) of my computer, and–of course–he was right there watching. “uh-oh!” he says. but i know what he’s thinking. cool! mommy pours water on her computer, too! so, she must not have cared that i poured water on it!! that means i can do it again!!! wheeeeeeeeeee…
stupid karma. what was i supposed to do? *not* get mad when he doused my computer deliberately just because i wasn’t focusing my every moment/braincell on his little world!!! boy, did i learn my lesson.
we’ve reached a new low 2009/08/24
houston: we have a problem. henri is watching sesame street.
uh-oh.
i’m officially the worst parent in the world. i mean, i’m not even watching it *with* him. well, i’m in the same room. but {obviously} not interacting with him…since i’m blogging…about him.
there are several reasons why i’ve allowed this to happen:
- For some reason, PBS doesn’t play Curious George 24 hours a day. I still can’t figure out why not. And they haven’t returned my emails or phone calls.
- There is a DVD stuck in our player and–as {bum} luck would have it–it’s not Curious George. Damn Technology!
- You can actually learn things on this show. For instance, I just learned how to say white in Spanish. Also, there are a lot of words having to do with laundry that begin with the letter L (lessons: irony, linguistics, metatexts).
- Sesame Street is so gay-friendly.
- I get a perverse pleasure out of turning Sesame Street on, because I once had a “teacher” tell us that Sesame Street encourages ADHD in kids, because of its short segments. Since this is also the same woman who told us that you could get germs (e.g. AIDS) from sitting on public potties, I never really bought into her whole Sesame Street philosophy.
ah, childhood! the time of innocence!
oops, it’s over. gotta go rescue my son from tv-land. coming soon: a blog about how we’re encouraging henri to read in bed under dim wattage so that he will need glasses like us. READING IS COOL.
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